Despite knowing damned well that I don't have the time for the grouping required by Dungeons & Dragons Online, I am inches away from logging into the game again. I've re-downloaded the client and installed the whole thing. The DDO icon on my desktop is crooning my name.

I was at peace with my decision to avoid Turbine's relaunched title until yesterday when Syp, curse his eternal soul, brought the concept of permadeath game play in DDO to my attention. It turns out that there is an entire sub-community within the game that delete their characters after a single death, with extremely few exceptions.

I am unbelievably excited by the prospect of this style of MMO game play - it would be like playing my beloved Ancient Domains of Mystery, except co-op and with gorgeous graphics. I've had an on-again off-again love affair with Roguelike games (like ADOM) since I discovered them nearly a decade ago - there's something exhilarating about playing a game where you know that mistakes do not go unpunished, and any second may be your last.

To get more of a taste of the permadeath experience, here are some choice quotes from a recent interview with Lessa, a member of the Sublime permadeath guild on DDO's Sarlona server:

Perma-Death is more about the journey than the destination. When I first began experimenting with Perma-Death play, I was not in a PD guild. I can tell you that the average leet player has no time or patience to wait for you while you experiment with slower-paced play and careful strategy. I was being dragged through quests with no clue as to what the goals were and many times I felt a competitive air about who killed what and how fast. In some cases, things were dead by the time the party reached a common room. I did not enjoy this. I wanted to play in a way that involved the party solving dilemmas as well-formed team.

After a few weeks of frustration, I found the Sublime Perma-Death Guild, on the Thelanis Server. It was perfect for me. Here was an entire guild full of players who thought as I did. Not only that, they taught me to play the game in entirely different way, to approach situations from several angles and to get the most out of resources. Here were people who were not concerned with the kill count at the end of a quest, only that everyone walked out alive and with a sense of accomplishment!

[...]

I remember when the Sublime faced the Dragon in the Vault of Night Series for the first time. I remember the chills as they ran down my spine while I ran up the platform. I had done it before of course, but not like this. This was a Perma-Death party. Entering the quest we all knew full well that we were in an all or nothing situation. This meant we were either going to succeed and make our mark in DDO History or fail and write the biggest epitaph our guild had ever seen. Would you go into a raid knowing that the character you spent months building might never come back? I did just that, and it was the most exciting thing I have done in this game to date.

I've been visiting the forums of both Mortal Voyage and Sublime far too often over the past forty-eight hours.... I don't know how much longer I can hold out.